Directed By: Michael Bay

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Peter Cullen, John Turturro, Hugo Weaving and (sigh) Megan Fox

Reviewed in four Haikus

Balls on a robot?
All sorts of running around.
Dreadful Megan Fox

Really big plot holes.
Optimus dies, then comes back.
Bay steals our money.

Oh did I mention,
The illiterate black ‘bots?
Fully racist flop.

I hate this movie,
Like Starscream hates Megatron.
Meagre score, thirty.