Developed by: Markus Persson

Summary Judgement:  Minecraft is like Lego meets Survivorman.  Those who enjoy the simple pleasure of building things for the sake of building them, will really get a kick out of this game.  Besides, you’ll feel good about supporting an indie game developer.  Granted the game is still in pre-release and some people might have problems about spending money on a game not yet finished.  But its only 9 Euros (about 13 Canadian or US).  Let me put it this way, if you’ve ever bought a lap dance then you’ve paid way more for a lot less.

And now for something completely different

Day 1

10:00am

How the hell did I get out here?  The last thing I remember is collapsing on my couch after a night of drinking that would have put Caligula to shame.  Now, I’m here.  These islands seem to stretch on forever.  After spending my whole life in the city, the environment here seems strange and different, almost as if it is governed by some different laws of physics.  I suppose I’ll have to get used to it until I can figure out a way to get home.  Also, I don’t have any cellular reception out here, big surprise there.  Maybe there’s a city or town around here where I can pick up some Wi-Fi access.

1:00pm

Three hours of wandering around and I haven’t seen another person on this damned island. Just cows, sheep, and chicken.  I think I’m actually going to have to kill one of these things if I want to eat.  What the shit do I know about killing an animal?  It’s too hot out.


3:00pm

I’ve found an outcropping in one of the rock faces.  Before I could get into the semi-cave I had to clear the dirt out with my bare hands.  I was never afraid to get my hands dirty when a friend needed help building a deck, but this is just absurd.  Good thing there’s a little pond near my new base camp.  Of course, if I get wet, I have no way to dry myself.  Right now I would trade my right arm for some Ikea furniture and a towel.  Douglas Adams wasn’t kidding when he said you should always bring a towel.


5:00pm

Thought it would be a good idea to get some wood, build a fire, all that sort of thing.  Had to harvest the wood with my bare hands.  It worked fairly well until my fingertips started bleeding.  I find it a little strange that I was able to tear wood apart with my bare hands to begin with. Perhaps I actually do have super powers?  Writing is starting to get painful and messy.


6:30pm

Climbed as high as I could to try and take my mind off the pain in my hands.  I don’t see any sign of civilization.  Saw a sheep on my way up.  The stupid animal stood there looking at me while I held a big rock in my hand.  The jagged stone dug into my tenderized fingertips.  I wanted to bash the sheep but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  So hungry.


10:30pm

Settled into the outcropping for the night.  I have lots of wood but I couldn’t find anything that would start a fire.  It’s cold, I expect it to get colder.  I keep hearing things out in the night.  I can’t be going insane this quickly, can I?



Midnight

Barricaded the outcropping as best I could with dirt and sticks.  I know I see something moving around out there.  Going to bury myself in the dirt as well to try and keep warm, I think I saw the Survivorman do it once.  Tried to take a picture but the moon has moved overhead and it’s too dark.  I want to go home.

Day 2

7:30am

Been up since six.  The sun rose right into my little cave.  I think I managed to get a couple hours of sleep.  Everything hurts.  I’ve got a stick and I am inclined to kill and eat the first thing I see this morning.

10:00am

Bonanza!  Ruins!  Maybe, I’m not alone out here after all.  More importantly, I found a workbench inside the wreck.  I’m going to see if I can use the workbench to fashion some tools from all the wood I’ve been collecting.  Wood tools probably won’t last very long, but they are better than scraping away with my fingernails.




Noon

I really should have paid more attention when I read the Pillars of the Earth.  On the upside, I managed to make a hand axe and pick axe out of wood.  Nearly caught a splinter with my eye; note to self, no universal health care on this island.

3:00pm

Yeah, so I have no idea how the wood is staying up without any sort of arch work or a buttress.  It’s like I’m living in some sort of lego world.  If I survive the first week here I am going to have fun building a few monuments to my own greatness.  I’ll start with a pyramid, then perhaps move on to a few obelisks.  Once the insanity really starts to set in, I’ll build a collessum where the pigs and cows can fight each other for my amusement.  The brothel will follow shortly there after.   Too bad Rollen can’t be here to see this.

9:00pm

Holy shit, I built a cabin with my own two hands.  To think that Dad was proud of me that time we replaced the serpentine belt on my Cavalier.  If only he could see this thing.  Let’s hope it doesn’t collapse upon me while I sleep.


11:00pm

Sure is dark in here.  Tomorrow’s task: find something that will start a fire.  Maybe there is some flint or coal up in the mountains.

Day 3

11ish in the morning

This is my final entry.  I’m probably going to die soon as I fell about 150 feet while climbing the mountains in search of flint.  Oh the irony, I’ve lived more in two days here than I have arrghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Overall Score: +4